About Charisma Builder

I was a really shy kid. I was awkward. I never knew what to say. Making friends was tough. And getting a girlfriend was complelety out of the question. This led to a pretty unhappy life. I was totally self-conscious, and lacked any kind of confidence in my self.

I looked at other people who were popular and wondered, what made them that way? Why were people attracted to them? How did they always know the right thing to say? For a long time I thought people were either born like that or they weren’t, and there was nothing you could do about it.

But then I started learning. I started doing tons of research into what makes people charismatic, how to have engaging conversations, and how to make friends. And then I started going out to social events and trying out some of the things I had learned. It wasn’t easy, but over time I started making progress. And over a number of years I was able to develop how I presented myself to be more charismatic and attractive to others. In that time, I’ve been able to make amazing frienships, become CPO at a 120-person tech company, and ask the love of my life to marry me.

But I always need to practice. It’s just like going to the gym: If you stop going, you lose the muscle you built. So I’ve developed regular exercises that I follow to continuously build my charisma and conversation skills. Charisma Builder is where I share all of these exercises and knowledge that I use on a regular basis, with the goal of helping you become more charismatic to.


Why is charisma so important?

Having strong social connections is proven to be one of the biggest contributing factors to living a longer, healthier life. One study, which examined data from over 309,000 people, discovered that a lack of strong social relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50%  (an effect on your mortality risk roughly the same as smoking 15 cigarettes every day). This is even greater than the increase in mortality risk of obesity and physical inactivity.

Another large-scale study of people ages 75+ found that dementia risk was lowest in those with a variety of satisfying contacts with friends and relatives.

So what does charisma have to do with this?

I’ve found that the best way to set yourself up to build strong social connections is to start with strong charisma and conversation skills. By making yourself a more engaging person, you’ll naturally attract more social interactions and opportunities, and therefore make it easier to build social connections.

Just think of all the people you know who have a big social network of friends and romantic partners. They generally have an easier time doing this because other people are attracted to them and want to build a social connection with them. Some of this may be due to physical attractiveness, but strong social connections are built through conversations and engaging social interactions, not with looks.

This is why I made Charisma Builder. I truly believe that by learning how to be more charismatic and have more engaging conversations, you’ll be able to build strong social connections and live a longer, healthier, happier life.